September Diaries: 5 AM Run, Self-Trust & Morning Wins.

CarolineBryan

September 9, 2025. Vol. 2 September Diaries.

So all that talk about not being part of the 5 AM Club has re-inspired me to… well, be part of the 5 AM Club. 😂 Technically, it was 5:45, but that still counts. I realized after work yesterday that evenings just aren’t my best time for writing. If I want to get my words out, mornings are where it’s at. And since today called for a 6.8-mile run, why not just get up and knock it out?

By 7:00 AM, I was sweaty, awake, and sitting here with my Tuesday thoughts. And honestly? I love it. I love the quiet. I love waking up with the sun. I love the feeling of accomplishment. It’s a really good kind of proud – the kind that comes from showing up for yourself. This is the accountability I’ve been trying to build, and today it feels like it’s …*chef’s kiss*.

On that note, I will say my run was harder than I wanted it to be. I kept thinking about the rule of thirds – 1/3 of the time you’ll suck, 1/3 of the time you’ll feel average, and 1/3 of the time you’ll crush it. Today? Definitely the middle one. Average. But I got through it by telling myself, “You can do hard things.” Little pep talks like that happen often for me – we’re VERY vocal upstairs 🧠💬.

I don’t mind it, though. I don’t know life without all that noise. It’s comforting to me, in a way.

The chatter is part of what gets me through. Some mornings it’s discipline, some mornings it’s stubbornness, and some mornings it’s just me reminding myself- I’m CHOOSING this. I chose to wake up. I chose to lace up. I chose to run instead of rolling back over. And that’s the point, right? – It’s not always about loving the process; it’s about choosing yourself enough times that it eventually becomes the process.

And here’s the thing: I’ve always been someone who thrives on accountability, but mostly when it’s to other people. This feels different. This is me learning how to be consistently accountable to myself. To say, “I’ll show up,” and then actually follow through, even if no one else would notice if I didn’t.

That’s a big shift for me. It’s not about perfection, it’s not about being the fastest or the strongest, it’s about building trust with myself. And I think that’s where the real 5 AM Club magic sneaks in – not just in the productivity, but in the way it rewires your brain to believe in your own word.

I heard once (I’ll have to dig up the article) that if you practice a movement in your mind and really focus on it as if you were doing the real thing, your body works the same muscles as if you were actually performing that act. Visualization equals activation.

Now, I can’t exactly imagine myself running 6.8 miles and call it a day. That would be ridiculous. But I do like the idea that I can trick my brain into believing we’ve been doing this the whole time. That I’m already the runner, the writer, the 5 AM version of myself I’ve been aiming for. It makes the showing-up part less about becoming and more about remembering.

I think that’s the hardest part. We (I), have spent so much time “becoming” someone new. Chasing this version of myself, I think, will finally make everything click. But I’m starting to think that maybe it’s not just about reinventing, it’s about stripping away the excuses, we’ve all got them, and remembering who we have been the entire time. Glennon Doyle talks about this in her book “Untamed.” 10/10, btw, I will read that again just to throw into our book club, because it is that worth it.

Think about it like this, I’m already the kind of person who can wake up, lace up, and tackle working out. I am already the type of person who writes, even if it is just a few messy paragraphs before the day takes over.. makes it easier for me to pick up on later if I feel like it, because I have already put in the hardest part… starting. The more I prove this to myself, the less it feels like I’m trying to become someone new, and the more it feels like I’m finally meeting myself where I’ve always been.

It’s funny, my thoughts went there because I LIVE by the saying- meet people where they are. I just haven’t been doing that for myself… until recently. .

I will say, Glennon cracked that wide open for me. For me, it’s not about shape-shifting into something shinier or more perfect. It’s not about reinventing either. It’s just noticing when I’m numbing, distracting, or piling on excuses – and trying to pause long enough to listen, not to the noise, but to myself. To what I already know, but sometimes forget… rediscovering if you will. Happy to be meeting me where I am now! Because she’s great!

That’s all for now, folks. Protein shake, shower, shower dance, and then work.

🫶🏼 ttfn 🫶🏼

Showing up → still the win